This morning I looked down in the shower and was startled to realize my belly has increased enough in size I can now only see my toenails. As I stood in sheer awe of this fact, I had plenty of time to notice that my toenails were in need of a major overhaul. Besides, spring has sprung in the Dreilandeck which means it was time to spruce up the color a bit.
When I got out of the shower I had the thought to paint my toenails. You think the overwhelmingness of this task would have occurred to me IN THE SHOWER when I realized I could only see toenail polish because the rest of my feet had taken shelter behind a massive mountain of baby. But not me, NO, I prefer to live in my little world of delusion. :)
First step was to remove old polish. This could be accomplished by standing on one foot, putting the other on the toilet and then turning the knee of the leg of said foot out at a very wacky ankle. Mission accomplished - check.
Second step was to cut toenails. This was slightly more difficult because it requires the foot to be more or less flat (in the sense that the top of the foot is parallel to the toilet seat) and the toes to be elevated relative to the toilet seat at about a 45 degree angle. This was really a challange as I had to somehow contort myself around the afore mentioned baby mountain.
The last step was to paint the toenails and not just with polish, NO. You have to do an undercoat, then the paint and a topcoat and then quick dry spray all while looking like a deformed stork. It's ok to hold crazy contortionist poses for a short amount of time - but painting your toenails in an acceptable fashion takes time.
By the time I finished I was past the point of burn - my hips and buttocks were at a four-alarm fire but trust me nothing comes between a persistent pregnant lady and her mission. All I can say is thank goodness for that "Relaxin" hormone that allowed my hip, knee and ankle joints to twist into unmentionable positions.
Next time though, despite not really liking people messing with my feet, I'm scheduling the pedi. Besides needing a nice calf / foot massage - it will be nice to be pampered. My pregnancy book is always raving about pampering myself so I think it's time to breakdown and enjoy...
Stay tuned for an "adventures from the nail salon" post. :)
All our very best,
Momma & Bob
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